What Lay Behind, What Lies Ahead
by PriyaLaLita
Summary: post-manga. Dee takes matters into his own hands, and does some much needed meddling when Drake and JJ get stuck. Drake/JJ with little snippets of Dee/JJ and Dee/Ryo. Enjoy.


_**What Lay Behind, What Lies Ahead**_

_-PriyaLaLita_

"_With your heart on your sleeve there's no secrets you can keep._

_With your heart on your sleeve, there's no secrets you can keep anymore."_

_-_Headlights 'some racing, some stopping'

Dee Laytner took a sip of his beer, eyes on his lover, Ryo, locked in an epic battle of pool versus his ex, JJ. But no, there was no heart on the line anymore. JJ, though still brokenhearted, had surrendered his crusade for his love. It had been nearly six months since this confession-- JJ had accepted the inevitable, he just didn't stand a chance. No amount of history could end Dee's love for Ryo. None. But he worried for him, the sprightly, cheerful member of the team had grown quieter, looked tired, and more his age, though still the youngest of all of them at 27. He had lost some of his sparkle and shine. He couldn't decide if he liked that better or not. He liked his temperament better, no more pouncing, and screaming, but, he missed seeing that ten-thousand watt smile. When they were together, nearly ten years ago, back in the academy, he loved that smile. One flash of that cheery smile could make him feel perfect. Even during JJ's pursuit it had a revitalizing effect. It was just who JJ was, he could make anyone feel good. But now…?

He turned his gaze to his best friend, Drake, sitting across the table, slowly drinking his beer, his eyes also directed towards the pool table, but on a different player. He knew that look in his friend's eyes, that look of longing, and loss. It finally hit him, he didn't know why he hadn't seen it before? How could he not have? The way Drake observed his partner now, staring at him, bent over the pool table, laying across the green felt, a thin curl of smoke rising from the clove cigarette that was resting between the corner of those pouty lips, those slender hands wrapped around the pool cue, eyeing his shot as if he held a rifle, peering down from the roof to take out his target. That 13 ball didn't know what it had coming. He saw Drake's eyes linger over JJ's perfect behind, on display in those tight black jeans as he planned his attack on number 13.

He smiled, really wondering how he hadn't seen it before. Drake looked like JJ did. He felt a pang of discomfort, had he really been that poor a friend, not noticing his friend's predicament…

"You love him, don't you." He said, loud enough only for the two of them to hear, as JJ took his shot, that satisfying crack of the colored spheres striking each other with violent force. Drake didn't look up until the 13 ball was safely nestled in its pocket.

"Huh?" He turned to him, a slightly empty look in his eyes, reaching for his beer.

"You love him, don't you." he repeated. It wasn't a question.

Drake's cheeks colored as he looked down at the table. "Is it that obvious?""I don't know, really…I missed it til just now…" "I've…I've never felt like this before." He told him, quietly, eyes darting around the room for eavesdroppers. "I…I can't stand seeing him like this. I was having enough trouble when he was happy, but now…It's killing me.""Have you said anything?""What?""Have you told him?""No, I couldn't…it's too soon. I don't want to be a vulture swooping in to break him more. You know I'm a failure at this shit, Dee. I'm a walking disaster. I don't want to hurt him anymore than he already is." Those stunning hazel eyes slipped shut a moment. "I thought he'd be okay, I really did…ever since the roof…""The roof?" He questioned, tipping back the bottle of the now lukewarm beer.

Drake slid a Newport out of the pack, and flicked his 99-cent gas station lighter a few times, shaking it to get it to work, knowing that those cheap-ass lighters were never worth the trouble. Seriously, for an extra 80 cents you could have a Bic that'd last until you lost it. Was that why nothing worked for him? Or, was that just how it went? Tons of disposable lovers, all leading to JJ? But no, he'd lost him before he even had him. He heard Dee question him again, and looked away, staring at JJ again. He'd never believed he could find a man so attractive, but everything that JJ did just made his heart skip a beat. Every move of his hand, every small smile, every shift of his hips, every time he looked into those bottomless blue eyes he felt like he could drown. He was drowning in things he'd never felt before, things he'd definitely never felt for a man, and things he'd never felt for a woman either.

"We kissed." He said around the filter of his cigarette, the tingle of menthol on his lips.

"You kissed?" Dee sounded surprised, leaning closer. "Like, what kind of kiss. Like kiss-kiss, like _kiss_ no tongue, _kiss_ with tongue, full on make-out…?""Neither. Like…barely a kiss, like…friend-kiss almost. But…I couldn't breathe…I knew I wanted him, and I _had_ him, but I couldn't fucking move. I don't even know if the opportunity arose again if I could…"Dee smiled, looking back to JJ who was currently whipping Ryo's ass at pool, happy to see the faintest smile on those full lips. "Drake…he needs you, you know.""He doesn't need _me_, he just needs _anyone_…""No." he shook his head. "No, he needs someone to love him.""Then I'm the last person he should look to, because I'm _really _bad at loving people.""Drake…" he said, then stopped. "Hey, Ted." He forced a smile, Drake clearing his throat and looking up at their redheaded friend.

"Drake! Come on, no more of this moping, I don't know who dumped you this time, but come on! Time to get you back in the ocean! Besides, I need a wing-man." He said, grabbing Drake by the arm, towing him off to the bar.

"Wow, JJ…I never knew you were such a pool shark…" Ryo smiled. "I'm glad we didn't bet anything." He commented, innocently, as JJ forced a smile, stabbing out the black cigarette.

"Don't worry, you would have won, you already did." he said, handing his pool cue to Marty who chalked the end, not having caught the exchange of words.

JJ went back to the table, searching for his drink among the sea of bottles, trying to ignore Dee who sat there, staring. He finally extracted the sole Michelob Ultra Amber and finished it off with a wince, finding it long since flat and warm. He was grateful for the fuzzy haze of alcohol, it helped quiet the riot of self doubt, and misery. Not that he was abusing it, just enough to relax him enough that he wouldn't snap. He couldn't stand Dee staring at him like that. Everything was such a mess, and that wasn't helping.

"JJ, sit." He said, as JJ tried to resist. _I don't need to do what he tells me, I never did have to…_ he thought as he sat anyway, finding it still useless to fight it.

"Yes?" He said, not looking Dee in the eye, knowing once he did it was all over.

"You need to stop this." He said, softly.

"Stop what?" He let out a small laugh.

"This…brooding…it's not healthy.""Oh, I'm sorry, would you prefer I just smile and pretend it's all okay, and make believe I'm not absolutely pathetic and worthless, and that no one gives a fuck about me? So, so sorry it's making _you _feel shitty." He said, lighting another Djarum with the shiny Zippo with Social Distortion's logo on it.

"JJ, it's not just me that feels bad." He said as those eyes raised for just a second before snapping back down to the flame, letting the Zippo burn. "Drake is so worried about you." "He has to be, we're partners, and friends, I guess." He said, puffing hard on the cigarette, the exotic smell of cloves filling the space between them. "You guess? You two were inseparable before you gave--""Well, things change--""Is it because of the kiss?""What?" Those big baby blues finally met his, a soft blush tinting his pale cheeks. "How do you…""Drake told me…""Why?""JJ, you have to snap out of this…he's a great guy--""Are you trying to convince me to fall in love with him?" He asked, flicking the ashes into the glass disc on the table as Dee floundered. "Because it's too late.""Too late?""I do love him, but I still can't let go of you either." He said, voice tight. "It's not easy…" he said, pointing out the obvious, receiving a bitter laugh from JJ. "JJ he's in love with you."JJ's frown softened, hesitating before looking over to where Ted and Drake were with two pretty girls. "No, he's not." "JJ, I would never lie to you.""You told me you loved me."Dee looked down at the tabletop, droplets of condensation and flecks of ash dotted the area. "JJ….okay…I admit in the academy I sucked. I was awful to you, but, I do care about you, you're my friend, even though I haven't acted like it. No matter what I won't forget that time we were together, I mean, you were all I had back then, and think of all the good times we had and I mean, god, the _sex _was…_incredible_ doesn't begin to describe it…" He said, losing himself for a second in the memory as JJ _almost_ smiled for the first time in months.

"You're welcome." He said, matter-of-factly, exhaling a cloud of sweet smelling smoke.

"But, JJ it's more than that. You're an awesome person, you are. I missed spending time with you, but I didn't want to lead you on…look, I may not have been a good friend for all this time, but I want to try again now…and I'm promising to you that Drake _wants_ you. Drake wants you in every way, god, I swear, you could just see it in his eyes that he just wanted to fuck you right there on the pool table." He laughed at his own observation, as JJ slowly placed his cigarette in the notch of the ashtray. "JJ, he _loves_ you. Give him a chance, please.""Don't you think I want to? I'd give anything to not feel like this, but I can't. I don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to think he's just some rebound attraction.""He'll know he's not JJ--""He's been hurt so many times, I don't want to be the one to hurt him the most if he really does love me.""JJ." He kicked him gently under the table. "Stop this. There will be no hurting. You will forget me, I promise you. Or at least you'll move on, hang onto the memories and get on with your life. I promise you, in time, you will get over this…" He sighed, reaching across the table to give his hand a quick squeeze. "I'm not the one you love most, am I? I think you've already figured this out, but you're just scared to let go."Slowly his face changed, no longer pinched in anger, his pretty features relaxing as he nibbled at his lip. "Don't be afraid to let go," Dee smiled. "Your safety net is right there to catch you, just go easy on him, he's new at this." They both laughed quietly. "Now go, before that girl jumps him. You know he's too polite for his own good."

JJ got up slowly and stared down at Dee. "T-thank you…" His voice was a bit shaky as he nodded.

"Go." He smiled and watched JJ leave.

He pressed JJ's cigarette into the ashtray and felt Ryo's hand on the back of his neck. He knew who it was even without seeing. He nuzzled at his arm as Ryo laughed.

"What was that all about, is he okay? I didn't mean to upset him." He said, as Dee shushed him lovingly, jerking his head towards the two.

JJ stood before Drake, who was politely talking to a pretty brunette, hesitating just a moment before brushing his hand against Drake's elbow. Drake paused a moment as JJ smiled up at him, the taller man's face lit up by that ten-thousand watt smile that made its comeback. A soft exchange of words they couldn't hear and JJ fitted himself against his partner's side, Drake's arm raised cautiously for a moment, then awkwardly settling across JJ's shoulders. The woman looked shocked for a moment, then excused herself. Dee caught the sheepish look as Drake leaned against the support beam, shifting so his arm slipped down around JJ's waist casually. Not quite a lover's embrace, but not quite platonic either. JJ looked back over his shoulder looking for the girl, looking flustered as Drake shrugged, ruffling his hair. Ryo's grip on his shoulder tightened as Dee watched the mood change slightly, as they talked a moment more, until he saw JJ shift.

"Come on, JJ, don't chicken out…" Drake froze a bit as JJ stood on his tiptoes to kiss him, those pale, slender hands cupping his cheeks.

"Drake, don't you fucking chicken out either." He hissed as Ryo squeezed his shoulder harder in anticipation.

Their lips touched, ever so gently, Drake's hand that wasn't around JJ's waist hovering awkwardly, not sure where to go. Dee and Ryo held their breath until slowly, Drake's hand nestled in JJ's hair, and he kissed back, holding JJ closer.

The two let out a sigh of relief, Dee scooting over in the booth to let his lover sit, the blonde resting his head on his shoulder.

"How sweet…" He said quietly, squeezing his hand.

Dee squeezed back and grinned. "Yeah, it's about time…""Were you meddling?" he looked up at him.

"A little." He said, innocently as Ryo sat up and nuzzled him.

"You did good. Look at them…" he said, heart warmed by the romantic display.

Dee did, grinning as JJ's heels hit the ground, wobbling against Drake, who was bright red, but smiling. Dee couldn't make out what he said, but he saw JJ's eyes glittering with tears as he unleashed a _hundred_-thousand watt smile, playfully wrapping his arms around Drake's neck. Drake's arms wrapped around him and he buried his face in his neck, radiating with happiness.

"I'm glad to see them like that…both of them…Drake's always had such bad luck with women just quitting on him, and we know JJ doesn't quit at anything, and JJ's needed someone to _need_ him…" Ryo smiled his own beautiful smile and Dee kissed him suddenly. He was glad too, and relieved, and the slightest, ittiest-bittiest bit jealous, but he knew it'd all work out for the best. And now, memories were just memories, and fond memories at that. And now? They had the future to live for, not the past.

Ted looked over discreetly from his conversation with a very, very, very pretty fellow redhead to his friend. His jaw dropped as he saw Drake, with his arms around _JJ_ in a very loving embrace, their foreheads touching, staring at each other in amazement as they punctuated their sentences with quick, little kisses. He quickly excused himself from Little Miss Pretty, and ran over.

"Come on, baby, let's go, I'm gonna go grab my coat." Drake said, Ted dumbfounded at how easily the pet-name rolled off his friend's tongue, saying it to not only a _guy_, but _JJ_.

He let out a traumatized shout as JJ giggled adorably and nodded, letting him go, but not before pulling him into a not-so quick kiss.

"NOT YOU TOO!!" He said, staring at Drake who blushed a little, and JJ who smiled sweetly. "It's spreading!"

Drake resisted the urge to place another kiss on JJ, and held up his hands in innocence. "Sorry, am I fired as wing-man?"Ted whimpered dramatically. "Am I the only single straight man left at the Precinct?" He wondered aloud as Drake shrugged.

"Maybe." JJ said, with a laugh as Drake left to get his coat.

Drake walked back to the table, feeling like his feet weren't quite hitting the floor, a delighted grin plastered on his face.

"Hey, JJ and I are going to head out, it's getting late.""It's nine." Ryo said, smiling."Oh…" He went scarlet, and fumbled for an excuse.

"It's coz you're going to be _up_ all night, I know." Dee grinned, standing to clap his hand on his shoulder, as he went redder. "Congratulations, my man!" He lowered his voice, laughing into his ear. "You are in for one unbelievable night, I mean it, you have not had a blowj--""Dee!" he hissed as his friend laughed.

"Just saying. Sheesh," he said as Ryo looked up, wondering what they were talking about. "Well, have fun.""I respect him too much to do that right away, anyway." He frowned, as Dee laughed. "Sure, sure…I give you ten minutes from the door shuts to you fucking him senseless, or what-have-you." He grinned as Drake took a quick look over his shoulder to JJ.

"I give it five." He admitted with a sheepish grin. "G'night guys." He waved and headed back.

JJ followed Ted, trying to ease his nerves, chatting up the girls again.

Drake tapped JJ's arm gently upon his return, holding out his coat to him. JJ may have lived in New York for a while, but he still, perpetually forgot to bring a coat on those Fall nights where the temperature was known to drop.

"Thank you," He said, smiling, eyes sparkling happily as he huddled into Drake's leather jacket.

"Ted, see you Monday. Becca, it was great to meet you, have a great night." He smiled, as she waved awkwardly, not sure exactly what had happened. JJ nodded politely and said a general goodnight, the two headed out towards the exit.

Ted frowned. He was becoming an endangered species in this precinct! _I will survive!_ He thought, turning his attention back to the two lovely ladies.

"So, how about we blow this joint, too? Don't worry ladies, there's more than enough Ted to go around." He smiled, as the two looked between each other with a smirk.

--

Drake pulled into the garage of JJ's apartment building, parking in the guest slot, next to JJ's black Mustang coupe. He swallowed hard, wiping his palms on his jeans feeling like a dorky, teenager again.

"So, do you…do you want to come in?" JJ asked, peeking up from under those long lashes, teeth worrying at the corner of his lips.

"S-sure, if you want me to…" he said as JJ nodded.

"I'd love that." He smiled as Drake slowly moved to turn the key in the ignition, listening to the rumble of the engine and the lull of the radio go dead. The silence was deafening until JJ reached for his door handle, easily getting out. He took a few deep breaths before following, manually locking the door, since the model was too old for a key-ring clicker. He stared at his beat up Honda Civic (zero frills, roll up windows and all) next to JJ's Mustang and felt a twinge of inadequateness. Did JJ really want _him_, he certainly wasn't rich, or fancy, or special.

"Are you coming?" JJ's voice echoed through the parking garage, and he hurried towards the awaiting elevator.

Drake shifted uncomfortably, finding all he wanted to do was kiss him again. He was nervous about this step they'd taken, but equally excited. In fact, he wasn't really worried about the consequences at all. JJ's soft words resonated in his head the entire drive. _'I'm sorry I've been such a mess lately. I've just been thinking, and I didn't want to make you worry. I care for you so much, Drake. I don't know what I'd do without you.' _His own response startled him, he'd said it, the three words of certain death. '_I love you_.' His heart thudded in his chest, he was sure that JJ could hear it. All he could feel were JJ's soft kisses and touches. Dee was right, he doubted he'd last ten minutes before he had to touch him again, and in the privacy of JJ's apartment? The sky was the limit.

That little twinge came back as JJ unlocked the door to the apartment which was about 5 times the size of his own. JJ tossed his keys on the little table and slipped off Drake's jacket and placed it over the arm of the couch as he entered the living room. He turned slowly, hands partially tucked in the back pockets of his jeans, rocking back and forth from the balls of his feet to his heels nervously.

"Can…can I get you a drink?" He asked as Drake nodded nervously.

"Sure, thanks." He said, as JJ smiled, and turned on the stereo, leaving it on very low volume. He smiled, JJ always had music on, even if it was too low to properly hear. He knew JJ was always calmer with music. No matter what kind. He wandered over to the stereo to see what they were listening to. He scrolled through the iPod's play list and clicked through the various artists in the play list titled "Okay". The Hush Sound, Headlights, The Submarines, Elliot Smith, Death Cab for Cutie, M83, Mates of State, Sufjan Stevens and Sparklehorse, The Wrens, The Smiths, and Morrissey…

JJ returned with two scotch on the rocks, smiling. "Do you approve?" He asked, gesturing to the iPod as he handed him his drink.

"I guess, it sounds good, I've never heard any of them before, wait, other than Death Cab, and Sufjan Stevens…""And The Wrens," He added, taking a seat on the comfortable oversized couch. He put his glass on the side table and took off his shoes and socks, stowing his boots under the coffee table.

"Oh, yeah." He smiled and stood there a moment a bit dumbfounded before shyly sitting next to him, kicking off his shoes too.

He took a sip of his scotch, wincing slightly at the sweet burn of the alcohol. "So…" He cleared his throat, shooting a look to JJ, who was curled up, feet tucked underneath him, hand on glass, resting on his knee. The little red fox against a mountain range, the choppy font that read _Belle & Sebastian _on his white t-shirt, that hugged every slight curve.

"Uh huh?" He said, urging him on.

"What…what are we? I mean…" He blushed a little rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I mean are we dating now? Are we just friends? Are we boyfriends or what do you all call it…I mean, you know…" he coughed gently, feeling the heat of his awkwardness.

JJ's gentle laugh relaxed him a little. "Drake, we are whatever you want us to be. I…I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do." He huffed softly. "See that's the thing, I want it all. I want you, JJ. I've never felt like this before.""Honestly…neither have I." he said, the clink of ice in his glass as he sipped.

"You haven't?" He was a bit shocked, staring at his blue eyed partner. "But, Dee…""I…well, it's difficult. I'm sure back then it may have been love, maybe, but this whole time, I was just so scared to be alone." He said, eyes downcast. "I was so afraid to let go of something that I'd clung to for so long. But, ever since I met you, I felt an attraction, though I didn't start to realize it until a year ago."

Drake smiled. "Same…the moment the chief put us together, my heart was pounding…I'd never seen someone so beautiful."JJ blushed, "I'm not beautiful," He laughed it off, quietly. "Far from.""I won't argue, but to me, you are…" He said as JJ smiled a little, flattered.

"Drake, have you ever…you know, been attracted to…""A guy?" He shook his head, grinning sheepishly. "No, but, I'm a quick learner, just tell me what to do and how to treat you.""How to treat me?" He laughed, covering his mouth with his hands, the light shining in his eyes as Drake shifted embarrassedly.

"Baby…" he cooed, putting down his glass, and uncurled himself to crawl closer, sitting right beside him. "There's really nothing different in how you _treat_ me…"He laughed, "So, flowers, chocolates, opening doors for you, moonlit picnics…all apply?" He smiled and cupped JJ's cheek with his hand nervously. He'd never been so anxious.

"If you want to. Anything from you I'll treasure," he said, pressing a kiss onto the heel of his hand. "Anyhow, I'm a softy when it comes to chivalry."

Drake took a slow breath and smiled. "May I kiss you?" He asked, feeling foolish.

"Anything you want is yours." he said, staring into those surprisingly pretty hazel eyes, flecked with striking greens and gold.

"Are you sure?" he asked, as JJ nodded slowly.

"I'll go easy on you." He promised as Drake moved closer, pulling him carefully into his lap.

"What if I don't want you to go easy on me?" He flashed a playful grin and kissed him softly on the lips.

"That can be arranged." JJ told him tugging on his collar, the soft snap of a button popping off.

--

Author's Note:

_Okay, so, the last bit is an add on from the version on media miner. I felt like adding some fluff. So if you don't like it, back track and end it with Ted trying to go for a threesome. LOL. I kinda like this one. We'll see. Again, a long one shot. Sorry. _

_Music involved in the creation? Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance, The Hush Sound, The Submarines, Headlights (really good band, check them out), & Pixies primarily. Bizarre play list, I know. _

_Enjoy. _

_Love,_

_Priya LaLita._


End file.
